Beatdown is a sarcastic and mocking way of looking at the PC games industry. Andrew Bub runs this service for you biweekly so be sure to come back often for more doses.

46th Edition - April 4th 2001

excerpt: Welcome to the special “April Fools Day” edition of Beatdown! Well, not really. It’s actually just a plain vanilla Beatdown that appears close to April 1st. Hey, sue me. This issue we have lots of Serious Sammage, news about the old foot and mouth (as opposed to the foot in mouth problem that I tend to have) and we find out what at least one third of The Police has been up to. Plus regular features like releases and golds and a ton of announcements. You’d be a fool not to tune in!

content: "WORLD: The Horrible, Horrible Hoof & Mouth Thing," "ONLINE: Ultima Online 2- Origins dies, Virtual mourners gather & get married," "AFTERTHOUGHT: Bub Speaks"

45th Edition - March 16th 2001

excerpt: I'm 1/8th Irish. Which is actually more than I am anything else in particular (except Polish, but we don't talk that up so much in my family). So, I'm Irish. But guess what? Everyone is Irish on Saint Patrick's Day! Anyway, lots of games were released this past fortnight and a horde more went gold. But that's not all! We've also got nudity in our soccer and Microsoft's reportedly underwhelming Gamestock 2001. Oh, we have a winner for that contest too!

content: "HEADLINE: Gamestock & Two Smoking Barrels II," "SPORTS: Now that's Footie?," "CONTEST: Winner Announced," Releases & Golds and more Announcements!

44th Edition - March 2nd 2001

excerpt: The news keeps Marching on! They say March comes in like a lion and goes out like a lamb, well, given the fact that the bad news seems to be escalating, Joe America is really hoping that adage is true and April signals the return of the salad days of yestermonth. In this edition we hear about the GeForce3, Doom III and a whole lot of announcements, cancellations and other fun stuff, including another crack at that contest! Come in from the cold and laugh your economic troubles away!

content: "HEADLINE: GeForce3 meets Doom III ," "CINEMA: Diablo vs. Diablo ," "HOLIDAY: Two Geeks Wounded in Mardis Gras Shooting, " plus Announcements and Releases & Golds

43rd Edition - February 16th 2001

excerpt: Love is in the air as everyone's favorite massively hyped Hallmark Holiday lands on our collective laps, and then fails to gyrate. Most gamers are loners who enjoy shooting at things and looking wistfully at Lara Croft (not necessarily in that order) so another V-day gone by just breeds resentment. Here at Beatdown we revel in resentment so let your freak capture-the-flag fly and join us for your 'semi-monthly' take on the PC gaming news.

content: "HEADLINE: GC+CNet = Splitsville! ," "SPACE: The Lander Has Landed! ," "LOVE STORY: Simulated Wedding Bells are Beeping! " plus "Releases & Golds"

42nd Edition - February 2nd 2001

excerpt: Hey, welcome back. Miss me last week? Yeah, I know, it's tough. But I had a nice break. I saw a Presidential inauguration and a Superbowl and I watched as the Internet continued its long dark journey into that long dark night. "Head for the light, Internet, head for the light!" Today we've got The Sims, Dino news, all kinds of announcements and… A PCDATA list contest where you can win a free game!

content: "HEADLINE: Milking that SimCow," "BUSINESS: Sid Meier's Dinos Crisis ," "FILM: They're Duned " "Releases & Golds" plus "SPORTS: StuporBowl 2000 !"

41st Edition - January 19th 2001

excerpt: When someone says 'January,' I think of cold and bleak. The future just doesn't look very bright when the skies are gray and the snow is pushed haphazardly to the side of the road, colored black with city road grime. New games just trickle out this time of year and exciting announcements are generally sparse. Nope, the future doesn't look too good on this gray January morn... So, what the heck! Let's make fun of everything!

content: "HEADLINE: Northern CA Plunged into Darkness," "CINEMA: Jolie Good News? ," "SPECIAL: A Message From GoD? " "Releases & Golds" plus "SPORTS: SUPERBOWL!"

40th Edition - January 12th 2001

excerpt: This week we have Madden Playoff predictions, more violent news, “tiny joysticks” and the ever-popular PCData info for November.

content: "HEADLINE: IGDA Violently forms Violence Committee, " "BUSINESS: Useless Tiny Joysticks," "SPORTS: AFC/NFC Playoff Football Prediction," "Releases & Golds" plus "PC Data's Top Ten for November"

39th Edition - January 8th 2001

excerpt: 2001 arrives with a bang and a bit of bad news for those who run their own websites, but we accentuate the positive here! So, I present to you a bit of bad news, a bit of good news and (drumroll) it's time for the Annual Beatdown Best/Worst awards! Aren't you glad you clicked in?

content: "HEADLINE: BEATDOWN AWARDS 2000: Best/Worst of the Year " "BUSINESS: Gamecenter Alliance, Betrayed? " "ANNOUNCED: Another Fine Myth? "LOCAL: Thus Spoke Zarathrustra " plus "Releases and Golds"

38th Edition - January 1st 2001

excerpt: The year 2000 has come and gone and it's time to look back and see what we've left behind. 2001 (as geeks will remind you) is the true starting place for the new Millennium so it should be an interesting year and we'll start on that next week. So, without further ado… (Without any ado in fact. Yep, fresh out of ado over here) I present Beatdown 2000, the year in review.

37th Edition - December 25th 2000

excerpt: Sexy news! I've got sexy news here and on Christmas Day! Oh the scandal! Anyway, Happy Hannukah, Merry Christmas, Kwality Kwaanza, Rousing Ramadan, etc., to you all. Anyway, on to the Beatdown, it's the holiday thing to do...

content: "HEADLINE: nVidia Ironically Wins, No one Surprised " "SCANDAL: GOD Involved in Tasteless Behavior?" "ANNOUNCED: Lord God another Dune? " CONSOLE: Is there Seaman on your Hard Drive? " plus "Releases and Golds"

36th Edition - December 18th 2000

excerpt: With the holidays quickly approaching the news starts to dwindle. As do games going gold. But as the number of released games mount up, our bellys and hard-drives fill up, and the computer calls us away from family and friends. Feign a tummy-ache when they invite you to go a'wassailing and you'll do all right. I've got stunning election news for you; talk of an evil empire and lots of stuff about some goth chick named Alice. Let's get to it then.

content: "HEADLINE: The Greater of Two Evils? , " "HOLLYWOOD: Wes Craven's American McGee's Alice: The Movie," "BONUS: Other Versions of Alice! ," TELEVISION: Nocturne The TV Series?" plus "Releases and Golds"

35th Edition - December 11th 2000

excerpt: As the winter holidays loom in the distance and the snow gently falls to the ground here in Milwaukee, I've got to shovel. Shovel snow, that is. At least the gaming is still hot. So is the news. Let me regale you with tales of Wing Commanders, religious Nukems, French invasions and, of course, October's PCDATA list. Read on, it's warm in here.

content: "HEADLINE: How Roberts Suddenly Became a FreeLancer, " "RELIGION: Duke Finds GOD," "Hasbro Goes French," RETRACTION: Know Sacrifice at All?" plus "Releases and Golds" and PC DATA's Top 10 Sellers for October

34th Edition - December 4th 2000

excerpt: The non-Election-result grind continues and I, mostly, keep my promise and ignore it. LucasArts reveals some Star Wars details, sort of, and the insanity that is the annual CODIES arrives just in time to provide filler. Oh, some games came out and others went gold and we've got a special anniversary to celebrate.

content: "HEADLINE: Star Wars, Nothing but Star Wars! " "POLITICS: An Election 2001 Game? ," "BUSINESS: The CODIE Nominations Come In," and "SPORTS: MNF," plus "Releases and Golds"

33rd Edition - November 27th 2000

excerpt: Only a few news stories this week (Jedi Dead, Politics, MNF and Releases & Golds) so I shall use this opportunity to get in touch with my good side. The side that wears a white hat and secretly thinks the next game SouthPeak Interactive releases will be the “good” one. The slightly less sarcastic side. The Jekyll if you consider the usual Beatdown style to be in any way Hyde-like. After all, it's difficult to grouse with a belly full of turkey and beer.

content: "HEADLINE: The Force is GONE with this one? "POLITICAL: STILL no Prez? Nukem Disappeared? Soviets Defeated!," "ESSAY: What I am Thankful For 2000, by Bub," more "SPORTS: MNF ," plus "Releases and Golds"

32nd Edition - November 20th 2000

excerpt: The presidential Crisis continues to adversely affect the gaming industry as the whole country plunges into absolute chaos! The Soviets continue their inexorable invasion plans! Mighty 3Dfx abandons us all!? Germans have no sense of humor? Um… Ozzy? Lara Croft returns from the dead! Dogs and cats living together! Mass hysteria! Don't panic until you read this!

content: "HEADLINE: Duke Nukem Seizes USA in Violent Coup," "WORLD: Germans have no Sense of Humor," "BIZ: That Voodoo You Don't Do ," "MUSIC: Ozzy Osborne Game Update ," and "Releases and Golds"

31st Edition - November 13th 2000

excerpt: Been watching the news lately? Seems we don't have a president-elect, who will be the prez then? Will this nation's enemies now strike? What else is new in the PC world? Could I have found the most tasteless game ever made? Who wins on MNF tonight? Does anybody really know what time it is? Does anybody really care? Plus: Who let the Sea Dogs out?

content: "HEADLINE: Election Crisis 2000!," "GEOPOLITICAL: Red Alert/Red Dawn!," "Quick Hits in Gaming News," plus "Releases and Golds"

30th Edition - November 6th 2000

excerpt: It's that crazy political season and that's the time when Bub starts thinking about his civic duties. He thinks about issues and candidates, he thinks about government and taxes, he thinks about fast food, he contemplates the military and social programs, basically he thinks about all kinds of stuff that occurs outside his office. Maybe you should start thinking about it too? Come on in, the politics run rampant here but the September PCData Top 10 is here to keep you company.

content: "HEADLINE: Political Editorial," "MESSAGE from Ralph Nader, George W. Bush and Al Gore, " plus "Releases and Golds," and "PCDATA's TOP 10 SELLERS for September 2000"

29th Edition - October 30th 2000

excerpt: Hype is the byword as we see New York go nuts for the Yanks, New York go nuts for the Mets and the rest of the country goes nuts for some stupid console system. A console system? Why? Plus, it's the most wonderful time, of the year…. Halloween!

content: "HEADLINE: Christian Gamers Protest 4X4: Evolution ," "RANDOM: NHL 2001 Features AL GORE! , " "DIARY: PS I Love You! ," plus "Releases and Golds," and ...Sports and more Sports!

28th Edition - October 23rd 2000

excerpt: Quake III on the Dreamcast? Plus interesting wargame news, dire info about the game business, releases and golds, MNF and we learn that it's all about the spice.

content: "HEADLINE: Quake III Dreamcast Released: Tragedy Ensues," "RELATED NEWS: Political Arena, " "WARGAMING: SSI's New General," plus "Releases and Golds," and ...more MNF!

27th Edition - October 16th 2000

excerpt: News marches relentlessly onward toward the Christmas season. Come inside where Verant learns to suffer fools, Obi-Wan gets delayed and Stevie Case is ready for her close-up! Plus Releases, Golds and MNF.

content: "HEADLINE: Big Verant is Watching You!? ," "FLASH!: The Force is Delayed with this One , " "ANNOUNCED: Make Way for JA2!," plus "Releases and Golds," and ...more MNF!

26th Edition - October 9th 2000

excerpt: Game news is a'poppin this week as we see news of the debates, Hitman canceled (?), of Sims and Sitcoms, and some fresh Babylon 5 news (in case there are any geeks out there). Plus the fate of MNF's relationship with Beatdown revealed. Read on, and please hit ‘refresh' repeatedly, both of you.

content: "HEADLINE: Bush Drops Max," "OBIT: Babylon 5: Into the Ether, " "JUST IN: Hitman: Code Dead! ," plus "Releases and Golds," and ...what?! More MNF predictions???

25th Edition - October 2nd 2000

excerpt: It was a slow, very slow, news week in PC gaming, folks… but at least we have Baldur's Gate II. We also have sound card news, the possible end of the MNF NFL here at Beatdown and the kind and gentle Marty McSorley to make fun of. Hey, read this for the only column that lost it's Gold medal for doping. Yeah, it's allergy season and that means I'm high on psuedonephedrine again.

content: "HEADLINE:Baldur's Great II?" "EXPANSION: Icewind Dale to Get Add-on Pack?" "RANDOM: Daikatana Patched & Translated," "Releases and Golds," "QUICK HITS: World News with a Gaming Spin," and more...

24th Edition - September 25th 2000

excerpt: Will work for virtual life? Will sue for it? Plus Futurama news, a horde of new releases (and golds) and August's PC Data figures are here. Go for the eyes, Boo! Go for the eyes!

content: "HEADLINE: Pay, Brittania!," "BUSINESS: iStill iSmell a Bad iDea," "TELEVISION: Futurama Coming?," "RANDOM: Christina Aguilera," "Bub's Monday Night Football Prediction," and PCDATA's Top 10 Sellers for August.

23rd Edition - September 18th 2000

excerpt: Olympic fever! Anti-violent game fever! Anti-K-Mart fever! NFL Fever? (Maybe in 2002.) Plus the World News and tomfoolery you expect and - guess what? The drought is over! A slew of games have gone gold this past week and… well, they all get made fun of here.

content: "HEADLINE: Olympics Open, Despite Crappy Game," "ANNOUNCED: “Violentest Game Ever,” but Oh So Kool! ," "OPINION: K-Mart Cards Underage Kids ," "Releases and Golds," and Bub's "Monday Night Football Prediction..."

Special Edition: Rated M for Mature - September 15th 2000

excerpt: Sometimes the pursuit of journalism makes us put down our poison pen and take notice. So when a coincidental bit of synergy happened recently in the world and politics met gaming, your Beatdown reporter had to clear his throat rather loudly and make his opinion known.

22nd Edition - September 11th 2000

excerpt: A bit of ECTS news, some Diablo II info, Super-Duper-Man and… K-Mart? It's a crazy PC news world and I'm here to tell you all about it. Sit back, listen up and insert at least one grain of salt into your pie-hole! Oh, lots of games are coming out, I make fun of them here….

content: "HEADLINE: ECTS = Limey Fun for Everyone," "EDITORIAL: KMart Restricts Mature Gaming," "LICENSES: Faster than a Speeding Pentium," and Bub's "Monday Night Football Prediction..."

21st Edition - September 4th 2000

excerpt: It's Labor Day, right? We're heading toward the cold weather of Autumn and school is starting but it's all good because that means football season (no not "footie," I mean that American gridiron spectacle). Come on in and read... bring padding though, ok?

content: "HEADLINE: Microsoft Lands a Big Huge Game Designer," "DOUBLE SHOT: PHASERS SET ON FUN!," and Bub's "Monday Night Football Prediction..."

20th Edition - August 28th 2000

excerpt: August is heading out and it's taking summer with it... but that's good news if you're waiting for new games. It means Fall is around the corner! Got some Diablo III morsels here (sort of) and a bit of Lara Croft cheesecake too. Hurry on in, Madden's already here and he's hogging all the pork rinds.

19th Edition - August 23rd 2000

excerpt: The DNC has ended, the computer game release drought has also ended, nobody really died at QuakeCon in Texas and Gen Con stormed through Milwaukee. Plus, July's PCData Top Ten! That's a lot of news for one week isn't it? Well, that ain't the half of it, buddy-boy!

Special Gen Con Edition - August 18th 2000

excerpt: Your intrepid Beatdown Reporter braved the sea of smelly geeks and visited this year's Gen Con in Milwaukee WI. Why? Because the news waits for no one and because he has a 20-sided die he's been dying to use. Come inside for the latest computer game news, RPG and board game info and to see if he rolls a natural 20.

18th Edition - August 14th 2000

excerpt: If you read only one snarky PC game news source this week, go read Old Man Murray. If you read two, then come inside here and read this! It contains probably the most important game related news you'll ever read. Ever! I'm not joking. Come inside and at least find out who won that little Star Wars trivia contest.

17th Edition - August 7th 2000

excerpt: Step right up ladies and gentlemen! Welcome to the greatest show on Earth! We have news from the Republican Convention; some hot properties are a'comin' your way and also something about Star Wars. Yep, that's right geek-boys, Star Wars. So, step right up, and hey, if you're smart you may even win a prize!

16th Edition - July 31st 2000

excerpt: July ends with a Bang as we learn that video gaming is a serious hazard to your health! No joke - it causes cancer, emphysema, strokes, violence and severe posterior cramping. Plus we've got everybody's favorite feature… the PCData hit list. Come on in and revel in the nonsense of it all.

15th Edition - July 24th 2000

excerpt: Summertime and the gaming is easy. Diablo II is burning up the charts, Icewind Dale is performing fairly well, Vampire is patched and so is (snicker) Daikatana. Still, the Summer Doldrums have officially begun. Watch me weather the nice weather, whether you like it or not!

14th Edition - July 17th 2000

excerpt: It's a tough job bringing you fresh PC gaming news each week. You are, after all, a hungry lot. Just think --not only do I have to find the news, I also have to pluck it, skin it, bone it, fry it up and serve it to you as fresh and sassy as you like it. Do I ever get a freaking thank you for my efforts? Nope. Still, I live to serve you, so bon appetite, but mind the gristle.

13th Edition - July 10th 2000

excerpt: Well now, 13 issues of Beatdown here at SharkyExtreme, how about that? Let's hope no bad luck befalls me as I write this edition. Hollywood affected the news in a big way this past week with Alice heading out there, Aliens and Predators moving in together and some news to really Dredd... Battlefield Earth the game. That's not a joke, but you'll find a few of them if you come on inside.

12th Edition - July 3rd 2000

excerpt: Bub's heart rings true for the red, white and blue as he prepares to blow his face off with homemade fireworks, again (be careful at home there, kiddies). But really he, like most of America, is seeing red. Blood-red, yeah, Diablo 2-style red. Yes folks the infamous "gory desktop" has returned. Yet time marches on and things keep happening, we got science and technology and we got the death of yet another PC rag. Come on in, light a sparkler, and stay awhile. Oooh, ahhhh.

11th Edition - June 26th 2000

excerpt: Microsoft busts a move and gamers lose their Halo. MTV promises to do for gaming what it's done for...um.... We got PCData results from the merry, merry month of May. Bottom line is, folks, it's late June and everyone is holding their games anticipating the coming Blizzard. Does this slow news period make for a funny column about PC game news? You be the judge...

content: "TELEVISION: I Don't Want your MTV," "SCANDAL: Obligatory Daikatana Report," "MINI-REVIEWS: Cra'pla! They Come Without HONOR!" "PCDATA's Top 10 Sellers" and more...

10th Edition - June 19th 2000

excerpt: Hot fun in the summer time as even underclocked PC's melt in the 100+ degree weather. Plus, financial follies maul maniacal monopolists, NASDAQ is bearish and Eidos loses money? Also, your faithful columnist learns that he has a rap-impaired audience that may know a lot about Sting and conversational Klingon, but isn't down with OPP, Snoop, Dre or the rest of the posse. Dis! Come on in, Mack Daddy make ya Jump-Jump.

9th Edition - June 12th 2000

excerpt: June is busting out all over and I mean that in a good (non-sexual) way. The gaming avalanche has begun, time to reap the rewards. This week we've got Super-heroics, the Lord of Terror, fun for Quakers and a few shame-faced retractions from yours truly.

8th Edition - June 6th 2000

excerpt: A career ruined due to Froginators and Ultimate Gas Hands? An artist fired in a fit of pique by a bully named... Adrian? A few hotly anticipated games are coming and rampant commercialism threatens us all. Oh, and I discover conclusive proof that I should be making a lot more Star Trek jokes. This and more in this week's episode...

7th Edition - May 29th 2000

excerpt: What can I say? It's a brutal industry. The fight for shelf space has become so heated lately companies would rather back titles like Roboskeet, Froginator 2 and Who Wants to Play With Regis 2nd Edition...

6th Edition - May 22nd 2000

excerpt: E3 is over with and the great big post-E3 lull has begun. Hope you like previews, cause that's all you're gonna see for a while...

5th Edition - May 15th 2000

excerpt: E3 is in effect y'all. That massive booty-shaking booze and geekfest we wait for all year. It's a lot like Christmas, actually. Critics, editors, developers and PR all put aside their differences and make nicey-nice to each other. It's three solid days of debauchery and glam, and on Monday we go back to sniping and manipulating each other.

4th Edition - May 8th 2000

excerpt: E3 that happy gathering that is really all about pretending. There are truly disturbed web-monkeys pretending to be sane, PR people pretending they like you, marketing people pretending to be gamers, booth babes pretending they aren't scared, gamers pretending to be journalists, journalists pretending to be interested and game developers pretending they've been getting sleep or anything else, lately. It's a zoo basically. It all starts in less than a week. Boy, I can't wait. Anyway, here's what happened this week.

3rd Edition - May 1st 2000

excerpt: Spring is here and the industry continues to heat up as we approach the madness known as E3. Lots of news to report but nothing so interesting as the fact that a certain anticipated demo has hit the Net. Yes folks, you can now download a playable version of the hotly anticipated Hunt For The Red Baron flight sim. Betcha can't wait, huh?

2nd Edition - April 24th 2000

excerpt: 3D Realms president George Broussard has announced that Duke Nukem Forever (a game title that has turned into self-describing prophecy) won't be shown at E3 this year. "We (3DRealms) do not believe including DNF in the E3 dog and pony show will benefit our goal with the game, which quite simply is to surprise the player with unexpected content and gameplay,", said Broussard. Naturally, one hopes they mean real innovations aside from grab the key and find the door. "E3 can be a great spoiler of game content and we believe this to be the case for DNF if we show it there." This is probably true; the last thing you want is positive buzz about your game when it's basically nowhere near completed.

1st Edition - April 18th 2000

excerpt: In a baffling decision, Red Storm Entertainment announced that it is letting Zombie Studios make an expansion pack to the popular Rainbow Six franchise. Zombie, creator of the awful Spec Ops series of tactical shooters, will create mission content for Rainbow Six: Covert Operations. This is sort of like letting the creators of Mortyr work on levels for the next Half-Life installment. A company called Magic Lantern is going to provide all the informational content as this will be both a game expansion and an informational resource into the world of counter-terrorism.