We remember our favorite film from driver's education in high school, "Blood on the Highway." Sure, it didn't have the complicated moral message of "Drink, Drive, and Die," nor did it have the excellent cinematography of "Tailgate & Brain: Last Tango." What it had was a simple and powerful message. A simple and powerful message of safety and prudence that Attention To Detail, the creators of Rollcage, completely ignored.
Rollcage is a high-speed, wheel spinning, brake frying, razor's edge ride in indestructible racecars of the future. Rollcage boasts destructible environments, a host of weapons, and an arcade bent. The question is, have we got some serious Fahrvergnügen going on, or is it a far from groovin' experience instead?
Oh dear, we've come to that part of the review where we have to tell you about plot. Oh hell! Let's skip the damn thing! It isn't worth a pair of dingo's kidneys anyway!
No you may not have our Bud Lite. In beer terms, Rollcage's control doesn't taste great but doesn't taste bad either. It's a mildly bitter brew that all will find palatable, but none will love. At the same time, it does not have the full-bodied taste a Guinness drinker demands in a brew, yet is too filling for the Bud Lite fan. Something akin to "Tastes bitter! More filling!" Did you get that? We're confused too. Want a translation? The control will not fully satisfy a hardcore racing fan yet is more difficult than the arcade racer prefers. It is not bad for anyone, but it is not exactly what anyone wants. Driving in Rollcage is like driving a high performance yet strangely tuned car. There's a narrow zone where your control is perfect at extreme speeds, but if you just barely step out of that zone, you completely lose control without warning or chance for recovery. You spinout, hit the wall, and start flipping like a juvenile who just learned to give the finger. Once this process starts, there is no way to regain control other than to lift your foot (or finger) off the accelerator and wait till you come to a dead stop. Unfortunately, this usually means you just went from first to sixth place in a flash.
